“When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”

New York Times Bestselling Author of Napalm & Silly Putty and Brain Droppings

Following his two New York Times bestsellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin´s third book, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America´s premiere comic observers.

Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin´s legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.

He also has a silly side:

• You know what kind of guy you never see anymore? A fop.
• A good motto to live by: “Always try not to get killed.”
• I´ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
• A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they´re interested in fashion.
• I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don´t talk, he works out alone, and I go home.
• Here´s something you can´t do by yourself: practice shaking hands.
• When it comes to God´s existence, I´m not an atheist and I´m not an agnostic. I´m an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.
• Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!
• O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

George Carlin, author of two bestsellers, has released eighteen comedy albums: appeared in eleven feature films; written and performed twelve HBO comedy specials; received four Grammy awards, six Cable Ace awards, and been nominated for four Emmys. In 2000, he was honored for Lifetime Achievement by the American Comedy Awards. He lives in Nevada and keeps an eye on things.